It’s not like splitting the atom (it’s harder!)

Being a mere human being can be difficult at times... in order to change my web host, I had to wait on hold at least 1/2 an hour several times, call three different companies who referred me to each other, and discover the-previously-unknown-to-me Company X (who supposedly was “the only one” who could unlock my domain name) was a sister company to the web hosting company I was trying to fire.

Solution: call the Domain Registering Company yet again, choose the option “seeking to switch domain TO” said company, because then they answer the phone. The conversation went thusly:

Roboguy: You have to call Company X, because only they can unlock your domain.
Me: No, I don’t have to call X because I am the administrator, I own this domain, and I pay for it.
Repeat four times, at ever increasing volume on my part. Mention this is America and it’s a free country, etc.

Roboguy: You could do an inhouse transfer from a wholesale to a retail account.
Me: (?) Will that allow me to unlock this domain?
R: Yes.
Me: Okay.

Five days later, I rid myself of two odious, overcharging corporate entities for good. Yippee! Then to top it off, I did in fact split an atom:
It really wasn’t that hard!